Good news!

I'm done with school! I'm done with school. For now. I don't know how to approach the topic of furthering my education even further with the husband. I had a very profound thought last night after researching CPC certification on the internet. Why do I have this need to constantly attain/acheive/earn things? I mean, I'm not a very competitive person. I don't feel I have to prove myself to anyone, yet I have this urge to get a bachelor degree or become ACF certified. But why? Do I have a sub-concious inferiority complex? I know I am smart and talented. My job doesn't define me as a person. Will the degree or certification really help me? I don't know.

So, I'm done with school and thinking about going on. I must be crazy. I just hope I can finish the second half faster than I did the first half.

Here's some not so good news: the blueberry pie was blah. It wasn't bad, it was blah. Not nearly enough sugar. The crust was ok but needs a pinch of sugar or more salt and the filling most definitely requires additional sugar. But it looked fab. Really, that's probably the prettiest 2-crust pie I've ever made. D asked me to crimp pies 1 time and never asked again. I don't have the knack yet.

I found my thrill....

...in blueberry pie

Isn't it gorgeous? I haven't tried any yet as it was still boiling hot last night when I went to bed. The Boy was mad that he has to wait until tonight to have a piece. He also thought we needed vanilla ice cream to make it perfect and to emulate Violet Beauregard's gum chewing experience in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". I don't care to turn purple and blow up to 10x my current size but I'm all for the pie and ice cream part of it.

I had more blueberries than pie pan so the extra filling is in the fridge, waiting to transform into mini tarts tonight. I was going to make them last night but I ran out of time and butter. The only butter I have on hand was still frozen- in 1 pound blocks, no less- so I postponed tart production until tonight.

The Husband is less than thrilled about my current culinary undertakings as he despises blueberries. I reminded him that he got chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting AND triple threat brownies (brownies w/chocolate chips and rich fudgy icing) AND strawberry shortcake from Grandma AND devil bars (a.k.a. 7 layer bars, magic layer bars, hello dollys and myriad other names) all in one weekend. He has no reason to grouse, though he did complain that he only got two cupcakes because I brought the rest to work so I wouldn't eat them. Poor baby. He is so neglected.

More randomness

My dog is insane. You can see evidence of this in the picture. She wouldn't stay still so I could take a decent picture. She kept running around the living room. Then she'd roll on her back and grovel. I'd pat the couch so she'd jump up there but she wouldn't pose, or even sit still for more than two seconds. It is too much to ask, or even expect, a terrier to pose. I should know better.

ZZZZZZZZ

Another boring day....I sit here and think about all the things I could and should be doing: exercising, baking, cleaning. And none of it gets done because I'm WORKING. Or at least I'm pretending that I'm working. I'm really surfing the internet and daydreaming about the things I'd rather be doing.

Still no grade for my last class. I might explode from my impatience. He's been back to work for 3 days now. What is taking so long!?!? I can't make any decisions about getting a B.S. until I know I'm done with my A.A.S. The husband will probably want to throttle me when I tell him I want to start school again. Do I let the company pay for it and essentially sell my soul to the devil or do I pay for it out my own pocket? Can I handle more involved coursework while working full time, and part time and working on the house? Can I handle that coursework while pregnant, recovering from delivery and caring for new born? Should the rabbit get the Trix?

Sigh. Sometimes I get tired of being a grownup. I want to go back to kindergarten for coloring, story time and nap time. That's the life.

New and improved

I think it looks better! I'd like to post more pictures on the actual site, but obviously Blogger isn't set up for that. Maybe I'll set up a flickr account? At least I can add pics to each post.

Career aspirations and desperation

I think D has something in the works with his business but I'm not sure. Last night he asked me how the Day Job is treating me and I said "Eh, it's there. It pays the bills." He knows I'm not happy being a desk jockey and that I really want to be in the kitchen, so I think he was testing the waters to see if I'm ready to take the plunge. Then he asked about the husband's job, where he works, is it full time. The poor thing has asked me that at least twice already. I started to answer him, again, but we got interupted and never got a chance to finish our conversation. We have to keep such conversations on the down-low because the staff doesn't know he's thinking of leaving. Since summer staff has been there, well, all summer, it is hard to find time to talk because there is usually someone around that doesn't need to hear the conversation or D is so busy he doesn't have time.

Anyhoo- now the anxiety sets in for me because of money and benefits. Do I follow my dream and switch to a fulfilling job with lower pay and no benefits, or do I stay at a job I loathe, working for a company that doesn't share my values; a company that is so big that I am merely a number; a company that doesn't look at knowledge and capabilities when making staff cuts but examines the bottom line to make sure productivity goals are met? The work is no longer challenging. I'm rarely busy all day. I can't stand sitting here with nothing to do when I could be baking something or at least cleaning my house!

I'm sure I'm jumping the gun. I'm sure D was just making conversation and trying to show an interest in me on a more personal level. He's thoughtful like that. Even if he did have something going it will be months, at least, before he is able and ready to make his move so I won't have to quit the Day Job right away. He has financial considerations as well, which are compounded by a child in college and a 2nd one who'll be in college in 2 years.

I didn't say anything to the husband about my brief conversation with D. We're already slightly stressed by the prospect of finishing the work on the house, making plans to build a new house in the near future and GULP, talking about having a baby. See why I'm torn? I'll take a big pay cut. I know I will. But I'll also be working closer to home (10 minute drive instead of 20 or 25 minutes. Not much, but still.) and should, theoretically, be much MUCH happier. Now I have to drag myself out of bed to go to the Day Job. I drag myself home at the end of the day, disgruntled and emotionally drained. Tired from boredom -how is that possible? There will be added stress from the decreased income. And if we have a baby that will put a tighter strain on the budget. The little buggers cost a lot of money and take up a hell of a lot of space for only being 20 inches long and about 7 pounds when they start out.

I emailed D so he could have my updated address and also to find out if I'm working for him this weekend. I hope not as I'd like to get a lot more work done on the house. Maybe he'll tell me some good news in his email...if he ever answers me.....